Will and Kate’s royal honeymoon: Prepare to be jealous

If there was ever a time to abuse their power, it's on their royal honeymoon. Kate and William can go anywhere in the world now that they're newlyweds and they've chosen North Island: a small, isolated archipelago in the Seychelles owned by a guy named Farhad Vladi. "Yes, we rented the island to the British royal family," Vladi told a Hamburg newspaper. "Prince William and his Kate are spending their honeymoon there. But you will understand that we are not saying anything further."

Actually, he's already said enough. You'd think after brokering deals with Diana Ross and the Shah of Iran, Vladi would know how to keep a secret. Now that he's shared, we don't feel so bad poring over the details of their destination love-nest. Here are some factoids William is probably reading in his Frommer's right now.

•North Island is about 600 acres and it's surrounded by cliffs and coconut trees.
•There are more tortoises than people on the island. Some are as old as 150.
•It's only a boat-ride away from Kate and Will's vacation destination in 2007. They reportedly patched up their relationship at Desroches Island Resort, another luxury escape, which they checked into as "Martin and Rosemary Middleton."
•Other celebrities who have vacationed here include Roger Moore (aka James Bond) and Posh and Becks.
•P&B chose the location for their getaway in 2009, because "the security makes it like a spy base," a source told the Press Association. Since when do spy bases have thatched roofs?
•There are 11 villas that overlook the beach on North Island
•Each villa has a plunge pool
•And a butler type...not that that's anything new for William.
•It's an ethically conscious resort. Here's an example of what that means: the villas are set back from the beach to provide enough distance that they don't disorient the tortoises that lay their eggs in the sand.
•That also means you can watch tortoises give birth as you lounge by the ocean. Talk about entertainment.
•Guests receive a 20 minute massage upon arrival to "ease" them into island life, according to the North Island website. I'd love to meet the person who's having trouble relaxing.
•A movie called "Thunderbirds" was shot there . Bill Paxton is in it, case you're wondering.
•The bar and restaurant in the villa is built on an upturned tree.
•An ecologist who lives on the island offers nature tours for guests. He has a good job.
•The gallery attached to this post will make you relaxed at first and then outraged at the fact that only royalty, ecologists and giant turtles get to enjoy this island.
•Back in the '70s, the island was only inhabited by rats and cats.
•That sounds a lot like most New York City apartments. Maybe there's hope for us yet.